My Moonlight Girl, Blu
In the final weeks towards the end of my pregnancy I was as prepared as I could possibly be for the birth of our second child. I re-read Marie Mongan’s hypnobirthing book, I had countless baths, I spent time practicing my breathing techniques and on my phone, I saved my favourite meditations so I could listen to them when the time came.
And when the time did come, at around 11pm on 25th July, everything I taught myself up to that point was forgotten.
I was one week past my due date exactly when Blu arrived, two sweeps, countless pineapples, many bounces on the birthing ball and two tries at the other method I won't discuss (I'm sure you know the one) to try and get baby out. I was desperate. But Blu had already decided she was coming on her terms and not mine.
At my second sweep my midwife had told me that if my waters went at home, I wouldn’t have long before baby came. Her head was so far down, and everything was feeling as it should. She also said that because the head was so low, I may not even be aware of my waters going. This was not the case…
In the final few days before Blu arrived, I had very mild contractions, they felt different too when I compare them to my first pregnancy. The pain albeit was bearable, shot down my right leg which would stop me in my tracks. With Luna, it was more of a period cramp. As Blu was already a week late, I got fed up waiting around the house and so I began to carry on as normal. It was the school holidays and it was becoming unfair on Luna, so we were still going to parks, the beach and even the day before Blu’s arrival we had been to a parade. I was standing having contractions whilst pipe bands and lorries were driving past me!
Because of my pelvic girdle pain, I was also sleeping on the sofa. I could no longer get myself in and out of bed and I was having to ask Jo to help me. I was peeing about four or five times a night so it wasn’t fair on him having to wake up multiple times so I could pee. This meant the cat and I spent some quality time together on the sofa. Sunday evening came, and I remember thinking to myself at about 10pm, ‘this is just another night of me being stuck on this sofa’.
Hoping for some excitement, I began writing down the times of the contractions, just in case they began to pick up.
The last two times I wrote down were 10.30pm and 10.40pm.
A minute or two before 11pm, my waters went. I can safely say it was the strangest thing I’ve ever felt my body do. I felt - and even heard - a ‘pop’, and a sudden rush of fluid left me and covered the sofa. It was as if I’d jumped into a paddling pool. I shouted on Jo who had gone upstairs just after 10pm because for the first time in ages he was tired before me. I had to shout a second time, and that was when I think he realised the time had come. I heard him bombing down the stairs.
“Get me my phone! Phone my mum! Get a towel! I need to phone the midwife!”, were the things I remember shouting at him whilst he ran in circles in front of me for what felt like five minutes. Finally, I managed to get myself from the sofa to the toilet across the hall whilst apologising to him for the mess I’d caused in the living room…
From the toilet I called the maternity unit, and my contractions were unstoppable. I could barely get my words out, the shooting pains were going down my legs and there was nothing more than a few minutes between each one. My guts were also trying to empty themselves – the part they don’t talk much about when it comes to labour – let me tell you, it’s a thing. All I can say is you leave your dignity in the labour room.
We left our house once my mum arrived at around 11.20pm, after I had roared at her to stop asking me a million questions, which was then followed by a polite request for her to bleach my toilet.
At 11.34pm, Jo rang the buzzer to get into the unit. We made our way up the stairs and into the ‘Moonlight Suite’. After another trip to the toilet, I was in the birthing pool at 11.45pm. The midwife had given me two options; to get into the pool or for her to examine me. At that moment the only thing I wanted to do was get in the pool as I needed some relief, and when I submerged myself in the water, I remember sighing.
With Luna, I was in active labour for four hours. I was only 4cm dilated when I arrived at the unit with her so I wasn’t allowed to push although I wanted to. This definitely set me wrong for having Blu as I had it in my head I wouldn’t be at the pushing stage - or be allowed to - when I arrived.
However, I was ready to push so much so that for a split second I thought she was coming out in the toilet. I could feel the surge in my body telling me to and my midwife Ruth told me, “Do what your body is telling you to do”, and those were exactly the words I needed to hear. She was amazing throughout and kept me so calm. (Or at least I think I was calm).
On the first, I remember thinking 'Wow! I don’t remember it being this bad!' However, after some deep breaths and a few pushes later, her head was out at 11.53pm and with the next contraction she arrived into the world at 11.56pm.
The moment we found out she was a girl, any thought I'd had in the run up to her arrival left my head. We knew Luna was a girl before she arrived but we opted for a surprise this time. I thought the not knowing would help me get through a tough labour - but to be fair it was over so quickly it may not have made a difference. We spent time talking about which gender we'd prefer, how it would be nice to either have one of each, or a sister for Luna to be close to as she gets older. Regardless of your preferences, when you hold that baby for the first time, none of it matters anymore.
And although she arrived so quickly, we weren’t free to enjoy her just yet. Once I was moved to the bed I was examined, and I got the injection to help get my placenta out. Unfortunately, it was stuck and almost cost me a trip to the main hospital almost 30 miles away. On the fourth try however and with just one minute to go until the hour cut off point, it came out. The thought of this potentially happening didn’t even occur to me in the nine months prior to labour excuse the description but I remember it basically sliding out the first time round.
Then came the stitches, just a few this time, but I had to ask the midwife to stop talking as she was going into too much detail with regards to what she was doing. It had to be done anyway, so I didn't need the commentary! I think with the speed Blu came out, there would have been no avoiding it happening, so I just wanted her to get it over with as soon as possible.
A few hours later, I was moved to the ward where I’d enjoy those first few hours of our new baby girl. Jo went home at around 3.30am to get a few hours sleep, as we’d both decided it would be best for Luna to have at least one parent to wake up to, she was snoring her head off in her bed during the chaotic half hour where everything and life as she knew it, changed.
And that’s exactly what I did, I enjoyed her. Just the two of us, as it had been for nine precious months. I planned to sleep but instead I stared at her every move, I think the adrenaline powers you through that first day as I didn’t shut my eyes until the following evening. In the run up to Blu’s arrival, I often worried about how I’d be able to love another baby as much as I did Luna. When the midwife handed her to me, every worry I’d had left my head and my heart grew enough for her to fit perfectly inside. A sister for our big girl. We were both delighted.
If anything, I feel even more protective as I did with Luna. My ‘last’ baby. I’m soaking up every minute of her, every smile, every sound and every milestone.
Luna was all of my firsts, and Blu will be all of my lasts.
A thank you to Peterhead Maternity Unit
If you know me personally, you may know that in both 2018 and 2019 I along with one of my close friends organised two charity balls to give something back to the local maternity unit and antenatal unit as a thank you for the fantastic work they do and love they provide to local families. We raised over £24,000 over both years and it meant so much to me personally to support Peterhead after having Luna, and now Blu there. I feel so welcomed whenever I visit and each member of staff is fantastic.
My pregnancy journey both times has been amazing, and I was completely supported by my midwife, Hazel, both times, with every question I asked and every decision I made, she was right there. Unfortunately for the births, she didn’t make it, however the ladies who were there were wonderful and made the experience as stress free as possible.
Some people are worried to go for ‘smaller’ units in case of the need for transfer (of course for some mums that decision is out with their control). But I am a firm believer that your mindset has a lot to do with it, so if you have the chance to deliver in a community unit I’d really encourage it.